Things haven't been quite the same since I came back from overseas. I'm not sure if it was the concept of vacation that threw me off from my usual work schedule, or the fact that after I came back, most of the experiments I ran yielded negative results...which leaves me feeling like I'm scrambling not just to produce something, but also to get some solid footing on where to go next. Unfortunately, that can lead to impulsively doing experiments and going around in circles wondering why things don't work. The good news is that I think I've calmed down enough to figure out what I've been doing wrong in terms of experiment design and technique, so there's some solace that things will work out "correctly".
The other part I've noticed lately is how I have a tendency to zone out in a non-lab setting. The best example would be two weeks ago, when someone I know was visiting the city with their boyfriend, their high school friend, and the latter's married friends. It was a slightly awkward position for me to be in (especially when someone said "everyone's getting married or pregnant!"), but for most of the time I felt like I was mentally absent. My half-baked explanation is that I had spent the entire day in lab making a reagent, and was getting antsy on when I could go back and finish it. My mind doesn't wander nearly as much when I'm actually in lab, but then when I go home, I start thinking about research again (especially why things aren't working the way I want them to), which makes me slightly hypertensed.
I've been able to clear my head with dance class and running, the reason being that I can't think and dance (or think and run) at the same time unless I screw up the choreography or slow down my pace. I'm hoping this whole restless-impulsiveness phase goes away soon. Either that or I'm going to run 5 miles to relax.
